Evaleen Whelton

I am the Autistic kid who can’t sit still

I am the kid who sits still out of fear of doing something wrong

I am the kid who does not look you in the eye because I’m trying to picture what you are saying in my mind

I  am the kid who sees your soul in your eyes and every hurt and pain you wish you had not witnessed.

Don’t force me to feel it by telling me to look at you. It was hard enough for you. Why would you inflict that pain on me?

I am the kid who likes to know what is happening next all the time because then I know what is happening and I am not anxious. 

I am the Autistic kid who will stare out the window and daydream because I am deep in my own thoughts.

I am the kid who will ask ‘why’ a million times until you explain why exactly because I need to know how everything works 

I am the kid who will laugh along with everyone else and try to entertain because I see how people who are funny are valued

I am the kid who doesn’t get jokes when they hurt people but I do have a sense of humour 

I am the kid who doesn’t know how to ask you for help because I just cat find the words or because I expect you to know because you are the adult.

I am the kid who doesn’t know the right time to ask you to go to the toilet

I am the kid who would love to eat all the food dudes stuff but can’t. It’s not that I won’t. I cannot. Insisting I eat carrots is like me insisting you eat sand. 

I am the Autistic kid who feels so lost with all your words that I long for pictures

I am the kid who hates getting anything wrong so sometimes I won’t bother

I am the kid who doesn’t enjoy surprises

I am the kid who will find my own little place when things are noisy or chaotic

I am the kid who will learn faster than most even though you think I am not listening

I am the kid who will focus on one topic and become an expert

I am the kid who sees and experiences things differently because our world is not one dimensional and was meant to be experienced in many ways. 

Who says you cannot smell a picture and touch a taste?

Who says you should not taste a cloud and hear a tear?

I am the kid who questions the way things are done

I am the kid who you laugh at or dismiss

I am the kid who doesn’t know how to chit chat because to me it’s pointless. It’s not that I don’t care about you. I just I really want to know how your are.

I am the kid who looks for meaning in everything I learn and do

I am the kid who frustrates you because I am so clever in some ways but in social situations I am not 

I am the kid who will succeed despite your incorrect way of teaching me

I am the kid who will succeed because all I need is one person in my life to value me

I am the kid who drives you nuts because I won’t do what you say

I am the kid you will thank for not doing what others said when I make a difference

I am the kid you will thank for my new inventions because I asked why and why and why 

I am the kid you will appreciate because you underestimated me 

I am the kid who will soon be an adult. 

I am the kid born just me, capable, amazing and free

Please do not put me in a pigeon hole or a box where I can’t breathe

Do not belittle my experiences and wish they were not there

Rather you’d accept me and hold me by your hand

So we could both accept this world and understand

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